Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Fox News is the #1 Cable News Channel in America

Fox News College Challenge


College juniors and seniors! Enter the Fox News College Challenge! Submit a WELL-RESEARCHED, OBJECTIVE news report and you have a chance to win $10,000* and a CHANCE to interview for a thankless entry-level job.

Holy Christ on a Fox News logo! A chance to staple shit and fetch coffee for grumpy old men who refuse to memorize your name! Oh boy! And for $5.85 an hour!

(You’re lucky you didn’t win last year, when minimum wage was $5.15, a pittance compared to the generosity now offered by the United States Department of Labor)

Notice the edgy contest logo; see how in touch with today's youth Fox News is? Isn't it rad that they're letting viewers participate in the news-making process? Look at the list of super-awesome topics! What a freedom of choice, not at all leading:

- Illegal Aliens: Let them stay or move them out?
- Separation of Church & State: Still needed or outdated?
- Reinstate the draft during this War on Terror era?
- United Nations: Irrelevant or worth our money?
- Religion and Education: together or separated?
- Health care: Socialize or privatize?
- Racial Profiling: necessity or abuse?
- School Voucher Programs: freedom of choice or disaster in disguise?

Also, take a gander at the list of universities that are allowed to enter. It’s a good thing Harvard or Yale or UCLA students aren’t eligible; they’re a bunch of pricks anyway.

*Subject to fees for invasion of Iran and Satan.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

san francisco state wasnt on the list!!!